Commandment about the Relationship between Life Partners
Is Islam a religion of polygamy? Does Quran teach to marry many wives? According to Quran, which kind of relationship should be there between a husband and a wife? Learn about these important topics from this article… People have different type of relationships on earth with the people around them, like:
- Relationship between Life Partners
- Parent-Children Relationship
- Brotherhood and Sisterhood
- Relationship with Relatives
- Relationship with each and every people of Mankind, etc.
Among all these, the Relationship that was revealed and established on earth at first is the Relationship between Life Partners. Neither any Parent, nor any brother or sister or relative or friend or neighbor, but for one Manthe Almighty Allah made only one Woman as a Life Partner. Moreover, it is an undeniable fact that, the entire mankind is the result of the Relationship of only one Man and one Woman. So, surely we can say that, the Relationship between Life Partners is so much holy, respectful, essential and important part of one’s life. In the beginning Allah created love and responsibilities between the first couple and made their bond pure and holy. But day by day people began to pollute their mind through disobeying the commandments of Allah, and forgetting the commitments and holiness of their relationship. They began to marry more than one because of their dirty desires of flesh, and for worldly purposes, and also began to divorce wives illegally. For these misguided people, Allah revealed His Commandments about the Relationship between Life Partners, so that they may keep themselves holy for each other and can keep their relationship unbreakable and pure. In this writing, we will learn from the Final Revelation of Allah about those commandments.
Liking, Love and Relationship
Love and Relationship is not a creation of human being, but a holy creation of Allah as a blessing and a gift for our life, as it is written that:
”It is WE Who created them (one for another in the beginning), and WE have made them of strong built (in relationship) …”
(Quran, Al Insan 76:28)
Surely, what Allah has created for us can’t be unholy or useless or reasonless, as it is also written that:
(O men) “… He (is Allah who) created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find Peace in them, and He has put between you Affection and Mercy …”
(Quran, Ar Rum 30:21)
For this reason, Allah has permitted people to choose their own Life Partner according to their own liking and wish, as it is written that:
“… marry women of your choice …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:3)
In addition with this, Allah also taught not to force woman about Relationship, as it is written that:
“… You are forbidden to inherit women against their will …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:19)
So it is clear that, we can’t force someone about Relationship or Marriage.
Thus Allah has taught us through Quran about the legality and importance of Liking, Love and Relationship.
Polygamy or Monogamy
Some people say that: “If a Muslim wills he can marry up to four women, because Polygamy is allowed in Islam”. But is this true? What actually Allah teaches about having Life Partner, do we know perfectly? Let’s come to Quran and learn about it accurately.
In Quran at one place it is written that:
“… Marry two or three, or four …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:3)
Polygamy was a way of life until the Final Revelation (Quran) of Allah was revealed 1400 years ago. In the ancient era, the earth was under-populated and undeveloped. So, Polygamy was one way of populating and developing this earth; and this was necessary to carry out Creator’s plan with mankind. For this reason Allah didn’t put any restriction on Polygamy up to that era. Moreover, as Polygamy became a common practice of the people of that era, and as it was hard for them to leave this practice so easily, Allah granted them that they can marry two, three or maximum four; Because if Allah would command them strictly to marry only one, then they would join illegal activities.
But, is this all? Let’s learn further details about Marriage in Islam. If we look into Quran at the story of the first couple (Adam and Hawwa) created by Allah on earth, we will find that:
“Your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him He created his wife(Hawwa), and from them both He created many men and women; and fear Allah through Whom you demand (to each other for your rights), and do not cut the relationships.
(Quran, An Nisa 4:1)
So, if we believe Allah as the All Knower, then we also have to believe that, Allah knows what is perfect and best for mankind. As He created only one woman for one man, then surely this is best for mankind.
And, for this reason Quran teaches that:
“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives (more than one) even if it is your ardent desire …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:129)
“… if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (among wives), then (surely marry) only one (wife)…”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:3)
That means, a person can never have more than one wife, because he can never be equal in feelings and responsibilities with many wives from the core of his heart, as it is also written that:
“Allah has not made for any man two hearts inside his body.”
(Quran, Al Ahzab 33:4)
After knowing all these, if people still disagree and argue to marry more than one, then do you think that, they want to marry more for any good purpose? Don’t you think that, they want to marry many women because, maybe:
- They want to satisfy their desires of flesh, or
- They want to get more children for their family or racial purpose, or
- They are getting only girl children, but need boy children for financial or other purposes.
So, finally we can say without any doubt that: Islam teaches Monogamy, not Polygamy.
Keeping the Relationship of Life Partners Holy & Perfect
The Relationship between Life Partners is a combination of Feelings, Faith, Respect, and Responsibility for each other – in together which is called Love. Love is such a creation of Almighty Creator that differentiates between the Relationship of a Human Couple and an Animal Couple, because Human and Animal both have physical feelings of pain and pleasure, but only Human Being have the feelings of Love from mind. So, it is an undeniable fact that, the Relationship of Love between Live Partners is so essential and important which we should hold with holiness.
Firstly, Allah commands everyone to keep those matters (physical and mental beauty and feelings) safe from others which are valid only for and with their Life Partner; because this is the only way that reserves a person’s mind and body as a property for only his/her Life Partner (not a public property), and this way the relationship remains pure and holy between a man and a woman. For this reason Allah teaches that:
“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaitân. And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitân, then, verily he commands to commit indecency (like free-mixing with the people of opposite gender, illegal sexual intercourse), and to do evil-deeds (which are forbidden by Allah) …”
(Quran, An Nur 24:21)
“(O women), if you keep your duty (to Allah), then don’t be (sweetly) soft in speech (to men), lest he in whose heart is a disease (of adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.”
(Quran, Al Ahzab 33:32)
“… (O women) stay in your houses (to take care of your family), and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance …”
(Quran, Al Ahzab 33:33)
“… tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden persons and things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts and bad eyes) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like eyes, outer palms of hands etc), and to draw their veils all over bodies and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women, or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment.”
(Quran, An Nur 24:31)
“Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as respectable women) so as not to be annoyed.”
(Quran, Al Ahzab 33:59)
“… Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (their husband’s property) …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:34)
“They (are your wives and) are (your protector like) garments for you (to keep you holy saving from illegal relations), and you are the same for them.”
(Quran, Al Baqarah 2:187)
Secondly, Allah commands everyone to stay in Peace with their Life Partners keeping love, patience and forgiveness in their mind; because this will keep the relationship between a man and a woman pure, holy and unbreakable. About this, Allah teaches that:
(O men), “… live with them (your wives) honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:19)
“… As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, (at first) admonish them, (next) refuse to share their beds, (and lastly) strike them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, do not seek means (of annoyance) against them …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:34)
Thus Allah teaches to forgive Life Partners with patience and to give them chance (by guiding them) to return into goodness.
If the Life Partner doesn’t come back from the bad way, and if you think about Divorce, still Allah teaches to reconcile instead of Divorce, as it is written that:
“If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint arbitrators (to reconcile), one from his family and the other from her’s; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation …”
(Quran, An Nisa 4:35)
So, it is clear that, Allah never wants Divorce. If even a person divorces his Life Partner, still Allah tells to come back in relationship, as we find that:
“Divorce may be retracted twice. The divorced woman shall be allowed to live in the same home amicably (if he returns back from the wrong way), or (if she still remains in the wrong way then) leave it amicably.”
(Quran, Al Baqarah 2:229)
Allah teaches mankind to stay in Love with their Life Partner, because Allah has created peace in it. So everyone should follow the Commandments of Allah to hold that peace with holiness.
So, let’s check some questions.
- Is Quran teaching to be free and open with the people of opposite gender?
- If the society people follow Quran, will the society become dirty and nude?
- Is Quran teaching Polygamy, therefore, taking more than one life partner?
- Is Quran teaching to marry for the fulfillment of the desire of flesh?
- Is Quran teaching to marry someone looking at his/her wealth and physical outlook?
It is sure that the answer of these questions is, NO.
Remember Some Facts
Quran teaches to keep distance from the people of opposite gender, because it is safe for both to save their own, because they are the property of their Life Partner only, not any public property.
Quran teaching that, a person has one single heart; he can truly love only one with that heart; and, only one life partner is best for a person in his/her life.
Quran teaches to forgive with patience, because forgiveness and patience is a part of love that makes the bond of love more strong.
– By Preacher Abdullah N. A.